By Marni Jameson
I’m going through the patio furniture store like a bodybuilder, picking up chairs and coffee tables in a
dead lift. If I can hoist them with ease, I move on.
“Lift that,” I say to my husband, Dan, pointing to a metal table.
“Why?”
“Because if it gives you a hernia, we’re on the right track.”
Weight, not appearance, was my No.1 priority in picking new outdoor furniture last year. This marked the third time in 15 years I would make what I thought was a one-time purchase. This time I wanted to get it right.
My first set of patio furniture, purchased in the early 1990s, was a charming white, wrought-iron table and chairs. Because I’ve never been together enough to put plastic vinyl covers over my patio furniture, it rusted. Every summer I could count on going through five spray cans of white Rustoleum to freshen the set. The paint made the furniture look younger all right, but the process whitened my hair and eyebrows too, aging me 20 years.
Eventually, all the iron rusted and returned to its native earth, until only bonded layers of oxidized paint held the set together.
So I decided my second set, purchased seven years ago, would be rustproof. I went for teak wood. I lived in Southern California at the time. Forget how it looks during the Rose Parade; Southern California weather is way overrated. Those Santa Ana winds could lift a house off its foundation, and hurl it to Kansas, which is what happened in the Wizard of Oz, only in reverse.
That’s the kind of day we were having when I looked out my window and saw all my teak patio furniture – table, umbrella, four chairs, two lounges – had vanished. Poof! I went outside to look around and saw it all lying on the bottom of the swimming pool, like a shipwreck. Now before you give me one of your our-weather-is-worse-than-yours stories, you try to single-handedly haul a water-logged picnic table out of the deep end.
So this third time I wanted heavy and rustproof. I now live in the Rocky Mountain foothills, where the intense sun and freezing temperatures strip even the most stubborn finishes. If you want to peel a banana, just hold it outside two minutes. The wind can really get blowing too, and I didn’t want to go chasing down my furniture at the local cowboy bar and find the cushions had run off to the county fair, fun as that might sound.
So I opted for solid cast-aluminum outdoor furniture with heavy-duty, all-weather cushions I can tie on tight. I can only hope it lasts.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist who lives in the Denver area. You may contact her through marnijameson.com.
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The ins and outs of outdoor furniture
Because my primary job here is to help you avoid all the mistakes I’ve made, here are some tips I’ve learned the hard way about buying outdoor furniture. If you get this right, maybe you – unlike me – really can make this investment only once.
Create a layout. Before you buy outdoor furniture, look at the space. Ask what pieces would nicely fill it and meet your needs. Decide whether you want lots of seating, an ample dining area or a place for private quiet relaxation. Try taping out where pieces will go to get the scale and flow right.
Select frame material. Pick your frame based on three criteria: the look you want, your climate and, be honest about this one, your commitment to the care of outdoor furniture.
Resin molded furniture, made of PVCtype tubing, is lightweight, relatively inexpensive, easy to clean and practical.
Wicker is romantic, but it doesn’t weather well. Newer all-weather wickers fare better over the long haul but are a better choice for enclosed patios and porches.
Wood, such as teak, is timeless and traditional. If you don’t mind that it grays as it weathers, it’s also low-maintenance. However, if you want to preserve the rich brown color, you will have to oil it.
Wrought iron has a Victorian charm and won’t blow away, but it will rust if you don’t keep it dry and covered. Plan to repaint if every year or two.
Cast aluminum is pricey but heavy and rustproof. And it comes in lots of finishes and styles.
Choose cushions. You can buy inexpensive seasonal cushions and replace them every year. Or you can invest in more durable all-weather cushions, which can sit out all year. Cushions made from Sunbrella all-weather fabric are durable and popular. The solution-dyed acrylic fabric won’t fade or deteriorate if left outside year round. (Threads holding the cushion together may fail; the fabric itself won’t.)
Shop around. Look for bargains by shopping online and comparing prices. Factor in shipping costs and timing. You may pay less online for the product itself, but you may wait half the summer for your furniture to arrive and pay a lot in shipping. Be sure items are in stock when you order and that you can cancel at no charge if the order doesn’t arrive by a guaranteed date.
Join me next week to find out ways to rehabilitate furniture after a winter of neglect.
